Category Archives: Thoughts & Feelings

Let it Rain….

Five years ago today we lost an amazing guy
Cancer took you up and snatched you like lightening in the sky
Too fast, too soon, we barely said goodbye
Too soon, too fast, too final.

Cancer is an ugly word in my vocabulary
The devil himself rearing his ugly face
taking those I love, its quite extraordinary
too soon, too fast, too final.

Although I’m not a researcher
nor do I have a million bucks
I’ll walk 10 + miles every year
and hope we’ll get some luck

A cure, a cope, hoping for the future
so nobody else i know has to go through this endeavor

A robber in the night , the diagnosis is a shock
I clench my fist so tight,i want to throw back at it a diamond rock
SHATTER!

Too Soon,too fast,too final.

Terr-Bear
Uncle Terry
I miss you!

You are so very missed ~
Some day a cure, a cope,some hope will be revealed
I promised you I would walk until I died for cancer research!

I heard this song on my pandora today and thought I’d share. Its so very tender.

Tuesday’s Tunes!

Just a few weeks ago we took Kirra out in the boat to go fishin’ over Memorial Day Weekend. Sure enough with her pink pole too, and did everything but sat still. I heard this song on the radio and just fell in love with it. She is getting so big – so fast, and we’re all about “making memories” now.

Enjoy!

Weekend Re-Cap

What a really perfect sort of weekend we had here! Friday was great. I had a half day at work (which I’ll have through Labor Day). Temperatures on Friday were downright tropical. Temps almost 90 with a dew point in the 70s…definitely felt like Guam.  With only a wall unit in our kitchen that we only run for limited times….I decided I best clean up/organize the downstairs spare bedroom in case we needed to sleep downstairs (since its usually 20 degrees cooler down there)…. I then decided to pull weeds for a whole 40 minutes before I decided TV in the basement was a much better option. We also bought a new “kid” pool for the yard that blows up. Its about the size of a four man hot tub. Big enough for Kirra to play/swim in, and big enough for Jason and I to sit in without looking 100% ridiculous.

Saturday morning Kirra and I woke up for Mom’s on the Run. The temps had cooled down overnight enough for us to sleep upstairs, and cooled down so much I wore Capri’s and a long sleeve technical shirt in the morning for my run. DUMB…. o’well. I sure was sweating! After MOTR Sue and Pam met up at my house for our monthly trip to the Farmers Market in Minneapolis. I got Celery, Basil, Rosemary, and Jalapeno, green, red and yellow peppers.

Then I was off to take my good friends engagement photos. We went all over St. Paul to places I’d never been like Mound Park, Swede Hollow, Mears Park and then of course to the Landmark, and the Library.  I had a lot of fun shooting them (ha couldn’t resist the play on words) and the pictures turned out nice to boot! I was very happy with the results and it sounds like they are too! We then caught dinner at a fantastic restaurant called Bario. I highly recommend it. Very tasty!

Got home, edited photos and then proceeded to sleep like a baby!

Today we woke up around 9 a.m. and Jason and Kirra were off for wood chips and I went to Ally, Gabby and Maggie’s dance recital. It was really great. You could really tell who was on the competition lines and who wasn’t. My niece Ally is in 1st grade and she danced better than some 10-12th graders!!! It  was all fun though.

Once I got home the front yard had definitely transformed. Weeds annihilated, weed tarp laid, and wood chips placed. Garden tilled. I really do have the best husband ever! I got everything for my garden planted and can’t wait to start reaping the benefits. I do need to plant some lettuce from seed, or buy a plant,but that’s about it and i’m “ready-set-go”. My Chamomile and Thyme came back and our mint in the front yard really took off. Time for some mojitos!

Trying Days

Days have been a bit trying for me lately….

Kirra has really stepped into the “terrible threes” with full force. Each day I try to remind myself that this is a completely normal developmental stage… I don’t like saying terrible, because that implies that she is terrible when in fact she is not…but she tries me so much lately!

Tantrums are almost the norm,and she pushes her boundaries so much lately its hard to see where the edge is. I’m reminding myself that boundaries for her are good,and deep down she wants them. To feel safe, and secure.  Kirra wants what she wants, when she wants, and wants it NOW! The girl has zero patience skills and sometimes its hard for me to practice mine when dealing with the lack of hers.

I picked up a great book,and so far I am really liking it…. “Bringing up Girls” by James Dobson.

We get through it, and she always says something so nice and loving to me….to remind me that she really is such a good girl. My girl. “I love you mama”….. “mama you’re so pretty”….”mama, lets hang out tomorrow”….. all the little phrases I cherish and hold on to and remind myself of… when she is whining in the pitch that humans were not meant to listen to!

I spent the evening (and last night) pulling weeds in my front yard. Six hours total, and it hardly looks like I put a dent in it…..It looked like some lost forest in Narnia….. This picture semi-describes what the flower beds up by the house were begining to resemble. Granted…my LAWN was freshly mowed and looked nice…. our plants were completely hidden by weeds…

Oh hello hosta…there you are…i forgot you were under there! Such is life. I’m so excited though… i could do cartwheels around my house…Jason said that THIS WEEKEND we will put that plastic stuff so weeds can’t (aren’t supposed to) grow up,and we’ll put rocks around the house. Literally…..cartwheels. I just did one in my dining room. Not pretty… but cartwheels.
I just listened to this song on You Tube, and I love it so much.  These past few days have been trying, but I lean on the Father,and he reminds me of His love,and it gets me through it all! Enjoy.

Memorial Day Weekend 2011

What a great weekend we had camping!

Thursday Kirra and I left our house about 6:30 a.m. to get to Pam & Phil’s by 7:15am or so. We got on the road about 7:45 a.m. and were off! We saw so much road kill on the road up there it was unbelievable. I probably counted about 30 dead animals on the way up!

We finally got there at about 11:15 a.m. so we had the whole day ahead of us. We picked out the “perfect” spot for our tent, got our stuff set up, and just hung out. We had a small crowd the first night, but the evening was absolutely gorgeous.

I went out fishing with Phil in his canoe, and my father in law warned that there “were no fish but sunnies biting” at the hour we went….so when I caught my 3/4# bass I was very excited to say the least….so we paddled back to camp,and I abruptly stood up in the boat to show Frank my bass, and as I did Phil leaned back, and we were in the drink! My mother in law said that Phil had a look of horror on his face while I just looked like I didn’t believe it was happening…. I almost lost my “White Russian” drink in the process, but managed to find it swamped in the canoe! A little lake water never did anyone any harm!

Friday was really nice in the morning. I got up early with Kirra since I didn’t have the choice of having Jason wake up with her and got her breakfast of honey nut Cheerios going. I took Cash’s senior photos, and paddled around the lake. Boy oh boy was it gorgeous! ‘Bout 1pm it started raining,and the rain rain didn’t go away….. it rained the entire stinkin’ day! Kirra and I did take an excessively long nap,which was peaceful hearing the pitter patter of the rain on the tent. We only stayed up for about 4 hours before we went back to bed again about 8pm.

Kirra woke me up around 1am crying that she had to go potty,and i could hear that outside of the tent is was a torrential downpour! I thought…great…now I have to get up out of bed, and take her, so we did, and got soaking wet! We changed our clothes, and crawled back into bed…. the rain and the wind were so violent I thought for sure the tent was coming down. I cursed camping, and thought about never doing it again! Kirra went right back to sleep, but I was freaking myself out with every tarp blowing in the wind, and my tent ravishing like the Blair Witch Project! Finally at 3:15 a.m. on the DOT the rain STOPPED! I laid in bed for a little while, and heard some rustling outside… I was a little nervous, and then overwhelmingly smelled lighter fluid…and then WHOOSH… goes the fire! I peered out of one of my tent windows and saw Mike [Jason’s cousin] out there, so I went out and we sat talking until almost 6:00 a.m. watching the sun come up. I laid back down and got about an hour before Kirra woke up.

We had breakfast, and a kayak ride (the highlight of every day for Kirra). Every day I did at least one loop around the lake with her which is about 1.5 miles of paddling. Once I got back it was around noon or so, and Jason called to say he was in Grand Rapids on his way. I had Theo watch Kirra and I went to the tent to nap! I didn’t wake up until at least 4pm, it was so great! Saturday rained intermittently but nothing like Friday, so I was ok with that! I still got to bed fairly early (11:30 pm) but it was so great to have my husband back and to cuddle up to!

Sunday was GORGEOUS with a capital G! Everyone was out on the lake fishing between about 5 boats, and we just slaughtered the lake! Everyone caught a minimum of 3 keepers of sunnies, crappie, and bass. Jason and I took home three full bags! After we were all in,we had dinner and cocktails around the bonfire. I stayed up only slightly later (12:30 a.m.) and again fell asleep hard!

We woke up about 6:30 a.m. to the sound of pitter patter on the tent again. I prayed so hard that it wouldn’t be raining for tear down and pack up,and by 8:40 a.m. when we actually got up God delivered! It stayed hot hazy and humid the rest of the day but no rain!

We got home and unpacked in very very hot and humid weather, and I was so grateful for the basement to be all finished so I could hang out down there when it was SO hot in the rest of the house. I’m so thankful for all the help I got doing it half solo with Kirra, and although I cursed Friday/Saturday I had an absolutely WONDERFUL time! There’s no time like Lydick!

Great photo of Phil (Kirra’s Godfather and
 Frank my Father In Law
Lake Lydick
A view of camp
My Wheaties cup that I almost lost when tipping over in the canoe
(Breakfast of Champions!)
Kirra enjoying herself

May Days

Pardon my long leave of absence with blogging… I just didn’t think I had anything to really blog about that was very interesting…. Since my last post we did host the Men’s and Women’s USA Road Mile Championship at work at the Medtronic TC 1 Mile which was absolutely thrilling!

This weekend has been a roller coaster ride…truly. Friday we got word that GG passed away. We really lost an anchor in our family,and she will be greatly missed by everyone. A few weeks ago I heard this song posted by another friend, and it so beautifully sums it all up.  I hope you enjoy this song as much as I do. I listened to this on repeat on Friday night/Saturday morning….

Emotions came flooding back from my own grandmothers death, and it was so hard to control my own emotions this past weekend. The funeral is on Tuesday and I am giving the Eulogy. I’m so honored that they’re letting me do it. I pray I hold it together!

Grandma Nancy will be missed so much!!!!

Friday evening I went to card club right after hearing that GG passed away, and then went to Frank & Theo’s…(my in laws) with Kirra to show our love and support, and be with them as they grieved their mother. We ended up staying there until 1:30 am. so when I had to leave in the morning to help put on an event, or rather show my support to my co-worker Kirra and I were very tired, but very much consuming coffee.

Kirra raced in the TC Kids, Outdoor Cross Country Fun Run,and had a blast running the half mile!

Playing with worms…
 My co-worker Julie showing Kirra more worms
 Pretty proud of herself!
 She only walked a tiny bit too!
Kirra and Shelly. She was terrified of Harry
“the Easter bunny” [says Kirra] our other mascot!

Saturday Jason got home in the afternoon after Kirra and I had our nap. Jason and I went to Gander Mountain where I purchased my kayak and a few other items. I was going to kayak at Big Marine lake near my in-laws, but tornadic storms in the area had other thoughts, so kayaking had to wait. With there help I wrote and finished the eulogy.

Today we all decided we were going to sleep in, because of our emotional weekend! I was catching up on some of my TV shows when I heard the sirens go off again so Jason and Kirra joined me in the basement. It was the first time…in a long time we actually took a storm seriously… they said the tornado was ON the ground so we weren’t taking chances…. after the all clear was given Jason left to get a hair cut, and I left to get some storm photos…. unfortunately I got a little too close to the storm in Wyoming/Lindstrom and had to pull back without any shots,but our safety was the most important thing. Kirra got a good nap in regardless…

Once I got back to the house I took the Kayak out for its first spin at a nearby lake. I kayaked for about an hour, which was so great, and really therapy with God… I just talked to Him, and really enjoyed being out there myself….it was getting kind of windy, so my arms got quite the workout, and the sky was looking grim again, so I pulled it back into the boat launch and went home for burgers on the grill.

I wish everyone a great week, and hopefully I will blog a bit more often!!!!

In loving memory – Nancy  – August 28, 1937- May 20, 2011

My Lucky Day!

Just had the funniest thing happen to me… Driving home from work and about to pull in my driveway when I see two very nicely dressed young men walking about my neighborhood. They waved very joyously at me, so I waved back. You know who they are…. and so I did I…. so I did what any Christian would do (probably not) and drove right past my house as if I didn’t live there, because they were due to “hit” my house next… and quite frankly didn’t feel like having the “i don’t want your literature, and won’t believe in your religion bit…”
So I drove around the neighborhood but decided that was not enough, so I left my neighborhood for nearly 30 minutes to another neighborhood about 5 miles up the road, and looked at houses.
When I decided enough time had passed I went back to my house in a very round about fashion so I wouldn’t pass the “preachers” so to speak. Well I pull down my road and spot them again walking right towards me! Just my luck!
I decided it would be way to obvious if I drove away again, plus I was hungry and Kirra wanted to go home… so reluctantly I pulled in my driveway trying not to make ANY direct eye contact with them,but they walked right up my driveway, and were actually very nice about the whole thing. Now i just wish I would have just sucked it up in the first place because I was able to politely decline their literature, defend my faith,and not be aggravated at all! Ha! I even shook their hands and told them to have a great day!
The only downfall was after they left I went into the car to get Kirra and she asked if they were the guys we were running away from!

Some of my favorite and not so favorite things!

Kirra and I were having our little mom and daughter chats in the car tonight,and she was informing me of all the things she doesn’t like:

Semi-Trucks, because they’re so big and huge and loud

Vacuum cleaners, because they’re so loud

Car Washes, because they’re so loud and scary!

Tangly trees,because she will get all tangled up!

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Favorite Movie: Ponyo. We probably watch this 2x per day. I’m watching it for the first time now. Poor Jason.

Favorite Food: Spaghetti

Favorite Activity: Babies, or playing outside. Kirra also has learned to play some computer games.

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Kirra goes back to daycare on Monday. We’re really excited. We got back in with Tally and Kirra will continue preschool where she left off. I’m glad to have her get back to some structured learning, since I don’t have the patience, nor does Kirra have the attention span to listen to me for any period of time.

I scored MN Zoo tickets at storytime this past week so depending on the weather we’ll either go tomorrow or Sunday. I’m excited because its baby farm animals week! Very exciting. Besides that,it should be a pretty relaxing weekend!

Heebie Jeebies!

I’ve gotten a bad case of the heebie jeebies today!

This morning I woke up as usual to get ready for work, except that with every twist and turn, I felt a strong pinching pain in my belly! I lifted my shirt and saw nothing out of the ordinary… so I kept getting ready. PINCH… I felt more pinching with more movement. Something DEFINITELY was up. Lifted my shirt again, but still nothing… hmm… Finally right before I’m done getting ready in the bathroom I lifted my shirt again, because I knew something was up, and looked deep inside my belly button (I have a deep BB)… and low and behold a DEER TICK is buried half way into my abdomen through my belly button! AHHH!!!!
I call to Jason, “Jason… I need you in the bathroom…. NOW” Groggily he got out of bed to see what was the matter. He tried to pluck it out with his fingers, but my belly button is too small, so tweezers were required. It was hurting a lot now. He pulled and got the body! Success! Not really, since he left the head buried in my skin!
I decided a doctor needed to get involved. Jason examined the tick and threw it in a zip lock bag for identification for the MD’s, but he was confident it was a deer tick. I thought GREAT, that’s all I need is Lymes Disease!
I went to three different clinics trying to get an emergency appointment, since I wasn’t about to pay a $95 co-pay at the ER, nor wait for 3.5 hours at urgent care for a simple routine deer tick head removal! Finally I went to my “regular doctor” which why I didn’t just go to that clinic in the first place is beyond me, but you do funny things while panicking. I almost passed out twice since the discovery of my new “friend”.
I got in with Dr. Kathy who is my new best friend, who had to use multiple different kinds of tweezers to get this blood sucking head out of my belly button! She prescribed me a single mass dose of antibiotics, and I was on my way.
Except that now, for the remainder of the day I am itching like an allergic person because I am so grossed out! I’m also acting slightly [mostly] psycho checking every itch to make sure its not a tick! Its brining back very unfond memories of Memorial Day weekend in 2008! Apparently I had nearly 40 ticks on me at once, instead of the 70 that i’ve embelished it to now… still 40 ticks is pretty wild…but none have ever been stuck in like this one! Ugh… Wait, I need to itch a second…..
Finally… Kirra loves babies, but usually her babies “run around naked”,but today we used Kirra’s old newborn clothes to put on her babies which fit like a gem,except that one of her babies that looks kind of life like,really looks life like now wearing Kirra’s old clothes! Eeek!
On a happier note Kirra and I enjoyed a little story time yesterday and was able to get some cute photos and a video of her!
Kirra loves to sit in front!

Pointing out a cute picture to me

Learning about frogs

Passing out the paper frogs for the kids

Song time!

Dance time!
So sorry this is crooked….

Tea Time

Oh what a fabulous time of year! The grass is greening up. Winter coats are a thing of the past, and the snow brush/scraper has been retired to the garage!

Kirra nearly refuses to come inside now. She’s definitely my outside gal, and I am IN LOVE with it! Kirra and I have been having loads of tea parties in her “tree house” on the rainbow swing set, and imagining all kinds of things. Its bringing me back to my youth, and the favorite things I would play. I could honestly play tea party for hours… probably because its my kind of tea party. We sit in the tree house and share invisible scrumptious treats of tea, grapes, waffles, and anything else that comes to mind, and when we’ve decided we’ve ran out of food I slide down the slide, with Kirra like a Koala bear on my back, and off to the glider we go…. we glide in the “car” to the grocery store, and sing Moon Shadow. Kirra’s all time favorite song. Then we run to the front yard where my garden is,and “shop”… run back to the glider, sing Moonshadow again, and climb back up into the tree house for some more yummy food! I couldn’t even imagine having this much fun playing tea party, but I honestly do! Its our favorite game, and she will play this for hours on end.
We go running together too (aka me pushing her in the jogger) and thanks to Jason for fixing our newest burley we’re down to 1 (from 3)… I can put the new burley on my bike and go on long bike rides with her. Its all about being fit this year, and I’m happy that Kirra happily obliges to help me reach my goals!
Tonight I had small group directly followed by “mom’s night out” with my core group of gal pals with kids that are Kirra’s age. I don’t know what I’d do without these girls! There is even a fun rumor of going to one of the gals cabins this summer/late spring for a girls weekend trip! I’ve already got approval from Jason so I’m quite excited!
After I got home from MNO I went downstairs for a serious talk with Shaun T. I have been cheating on him for the past week or so and have been running and biking exclusively. But tonight we re-kindled and I did a 30 minute pure ab workout with him. My abs are BURNING right now, but the burn feels so good. It screams BIKINI in the future! I’m sure I’ll be groaning in pain tomorrow, but the hurt feels so good!
My diet is mostly going ok. I’ve really tried to take a vacation a few times and said eff it… but I come back and remain pretty good for the most part. I’m mostly drinking tea and water through out the day which has zero calories, and gives me my “hot liquid” fix.
Tomorrow I’ll be running after a few day siesta from it. [nursing a calf strain]. I’m excited to pound the pavement for 2 miles although I can’t wait until I get to at least 4-5 miles which sounds more acceptable to my running buddies, but so far I’m again injury free, and still really loving running. (which is really good since I just spent a boat load of money to run with Moms on the Run – running club). The miles will come. I will remain patient, and actually I’m proud of myself for doing rather than dreaming. Dreaming is good but you never go anywhere without action…
Happy Monday everyone! I hope your’s was great too!