Through the hustle and bustle of the holiday season, and BWCA trip planning its easy to forget why there is a giant hole in my heart. I’m learning through it all to lay it down at His feet. Everything I’ve ever tried to hold on to, and figure out on my own has been met with anxiety and worry.
Allow me to explain.
I’ve written down a few times that I’m was very nervous about my birthday that is coming up in now 14 days. A birthday that I had shared with my dad since that Monday morning that I came into the world 34 years ago at 11:13 a.m. The day that I became connected with my father, and bonded in this date forever. The last time I posted about it, I was in the depths of sorrow finally allowing myself to think about what my birthday will look like without him.
Without the joint birthday song singing, cake eating, and typical birthday fanfare we once shared.
I prayed a prayer that night asking God to take this feeling of anxiety surrounding
my our my? birthday from me and woke up feeling refreshed about it. My sister had come up with an idea that was actually a deep desire that I had had that I didn’t even know she knew. Maybe she didn’t know. Maybe it was God planning out what he knew was in my heart.
We are planning to go on a Vineyard Tour of several of the Western Wisconsin/Eastern Minnesotan wineries along the St. Croix River Valley. Wine – something that I love and something my dad loved as well. We are going to bring his candle along and light it at each vineyard and raise a glass to birthdays and memories. I think I like this idea for future birthday’s as well, or at least some version of it.
God is in the business of answering prayers friends. He will never leave me or forsake me.
It wasn’t easy to get to this more restful place though. I had to lay this down at the feet of Jesus. I have to lay down a lot of things at His feet. When I tried to hold this part in, and stuff it down it became unbearable to bear. Jesus says, “Come to me, Lindsey who is weary and carries heavy burdens, and I will give you rest. Take my yoke upon you. Let me teach you, because I am humble and gentle at heart, and you will find rest for your soul. For my yoke is easy to bear, and the burden I give you is light.” Matthew 11:28-30 (NLT and mine)
You see friends, when we lay our cares and worries at the feet of Jesus he picks up those heavy, messy and broken pieces. That angst and fear that can drown us.
Psalm 55:22 Give your burdens to the lord, and he will take care of you. He will not permit the godly to slip and fall. // 1 Peter 5:7 Give all your worries and cares to God, for he cares about you. // Philippians 4:6-9 Don’t worry about anything; instead, pray about everything. Tell God what you need, and thank him for all he has done. Then you will experience God’s peace, which exceeds anything we can understand. His peace will guard your hearts and minds as you live in Christ Jesus. And now, dear brothers and sisters, one final thing. Fix your thoughts on what is true, and honorable, and right, and pure, and lovely, and admirable. Think about things that are excellent and worthy of praise. Keep putting into practice all you learned and received from me—everything you heard from me and saw me doing. Then the God of peace will be with you.
Amen Amen Amen.
Thank you for your strength Lord. Thank you for letting me rest in you. Thank you for carrying and taking this burden of worry for me. Whenever I have called out to you to help me you’ve never failed me. You are always here whenever I need you. Thank you for being consistent Father and loving me always.
Amen Amen Amen.