Proverbs 31

Here is the Old Testament reading they did at Gran’s funeral. It was so fitting to her, I am still blown away by it.

Its Proverbs 31:10-31

Hymn to a Good Wife

10-31 A good woman is hard to find,
and worth far more than diamonds.
Her husband trusts her without reserve,
and never has reason to regret it.
Never spiteful, she treats him generously
all her life long.
She shops around for the best yarns and cottons,
and enjoys knitting and sewing.
She’s like a trading ship that sails to faraway places
and brings back exotic surprises.
She’s up before dawn, preparing breakfast
for her family and organizing her day.
She looks over a field and buys it,
then, with money she’s put aside, plants a garden.
First thing in the morning, she dresses for work,
rolls up her sleeves, eager to get started.
She senses the worth of her work,
is in no hurry to call it quits for the day.
She’s skilled in the crafts of home and hearth,
diligent in homemaking.
She’s quick to assist anyone in need,
reaches out to help the poor.
She doesn’t worry about her family when it snows;
their winter clothes are all mended and ready to wear.
She makes her own clothing,
and dresses in colorful linens and silks.
Her husband is greatly respected
when he deliberates with the city fathers.
She designs gowns and sells them,
brings the sweaters she knits to the dress shops.
Her clothes are well-made and elegant,
and she always faces tomorrow with a smile.
When she speaks she has something worthwhile to say,
and she always says it kindly.
She keeps an eye on everyone in her household,
and keeps them all busy and productive.
Her children respect and bless her;
her husband joins in with words of praise:
“Many women have done wonderful things,
but you’ve outclassed them all!”
Charm can mislead and beauty soon fades.
The woman to be admired and praised
is the woman who lives in the Fear-of-God.
Give her everything she deserves!
Festoon her life with praises!

4 years later…..

Sorry I haven’t posted much this week. Gran went home to our Lord on Monday July 12th, so it has been an absolute whirlwind of a week!

Here is how the week went down:
Monday: My brother called me at work, Gran had only minutes left, so I left work to be with mom at the hospital. Went back to work/had a PT job meeting later that evening, and then went to my sisters house for a bit. I nearly finished my picture movie on Monday, but became quite sad when looking thru Grandma’s very very old photos from the 1940s. It gave us a peak into their life (my grandparents) and allI wanted to do was call them and tell them how awesomely in love I think they were! And how beautiful a couple they were! I cried myself to sleep.
Tuesday: Realized everyone has mostly died in the fall or winter, so i needed a shortsleeved black top and new necklace. Started to feel woozy in Kohls, and by 8pm I was down for the count with a high fever of 102.9. Finished the movie and went to bed by 9pm.
Wednesday: Woke up with an agonizing headache, and after I struggled nauseatingly out of bed I took my temperature… 103.1….. I thought how in the HECK am I going to make it to this wake tonight? I can’t miss Gran’s wake! I can’t!!! So I called in sick for the whole day, and brought Kirra to daycare and then I went back home,and slept until 2:00pm. Took lots of medicine and some how managed to pull it off to get there. I didnt feel too awesome while there,but I made it.
Thursday:
Woke up again this morning feeling like total crap. Took my temperature… 101.5. Grrr. Threw down some motrin in the hatch, and was highly nauseated. Am I pregnant? No… took a test to make sure! Dropped Kirra off at daycare, and got over to the east side way too early. Sat on Grandma & Grandpa’s front step for a long time, crying to myself about how much I miss them. I saw uncle Timmy come too, so I quick got into the house… walked all around, and then went up stairs, made gran’s bed, and crawled on top of the blankets, laid down and wept. I didn’t want to leave… all of the memories…. THIS worldly thing I had left of THEM. It broke my heart when I had to lock the door to go to the funeral a few blocks away. I can still smell their house this very moment. I will cherish their housesmell.
Was quite woozy thru-out the service, but it was a very touching celebration of her life. The priest did an amazing job on the homily/eulogy. The readings, especially Proverbs 31, was just so absolutely perfect, and True for Gran! We went out to Fort Snelling to burry her there, and got to see where Grandpa was buried.
Went to the funeral luncheon, but wasn’t too hungry… went home, picked up Kirra and napped, and drugged again… woke up with my temp down to 99.5. Looked up signs and symptoms and was like, oh I must just be dehydrated….and then went back to my parents for an after funeral get together. I felt a bit better,and on my way home this evening, i felt my lymph nodes in my neck, which are swollen… and I thought… hmmmm… opened my mouth and looked down my throat, and sure enough I have white postules…. then I realized , my throat is killing me!I thought that was just the choked up feeling you get when you’ve been crying so much! Nope. I have strep throat. This definitely explains why i’ve been so sick,and nausea is one of the top symptoms…. Oh YAY! What a wonderful end to my day!
And to top it all off……its my 4 year wedding anniversary!
In all honesty, i’m so blessed to have such an amazing husband who loves me and Kirra dearly. I hope we can be married 65 years like my grandparents were!

Made it thru

So far i’ve managed to visit Gran every day since Thursday. Each day is dramatically different. Thursday she was sitting up in bed eating dinner… and then went to bed, shortly after that…. Friday she was completely out the whole time, so we thought that was it…. last night she would wake up and try to talk, so she’s still hanging on, but we still think the end is near. 😦

Kirra has been an absolute joy to me. Last night on our way home she was singing something in the background, so I turned the radio on and here she is singing Twinkle, Twinkle little Star in a two year old version of course, but still! I was floored. I never taught her that. So we sang it together the whole way home!
I got a new pool last night. Kirra is scared to swim in the big pool and I am having the darndest time keeping it the right color! It was semi-swimable earlier this week, but now it’s pea green… or worse. It looks like purreed green beans, with lots of water added in. Super gross. I’m going to just empty it and take it down. Our new “kiddie pool” is sort of big enough for me (at least) to put a pool mattress in it and get a suntan. No more big pool for me. I’m obviously not qualified to have one…
If I’m talking a lot and I tell Kirra something she doesn’t want to here she points at me, and says “No-No Mama”. Its sassy, but rather cute. Today at breakfast she told me to “shhhhhhhh” and then whispered, “that’s better mama”.
Jason is still putting in a lot of hours at work, so I don’t see him too often, but he has been supportive as well with this whole ordeal with Gran.
This song has been a great comfort to me.
(You need to pause the player on the top right of blog)

Time again… for goodbyes…

I write this with a heavy heart.

Talked to my mom just a bit ago, and the time is coming upon us quickly to say goodbye to a woman that defines this family of the Raykowski’s.

The doctor called my mom early to let her know that the CT scan showed a large mass on Gran’s Thyroid…. cancer…. of course….. She has been sleeping most of the afternoon, and only awakes if shaken hard. The priest came and performed last rites and Gran was barely awake. Her breathing has slowed….

94 years she’s blessed us with her life and her joy… her kindness ,and her motherly love that only she could share. When someone has lived this long you expect one day to say goodbye…I still wrestle with this and think its still too soon.

If anything changes in her status in this life I will let you know, and when she is soon greeted by her Father in heaven, and once again see’s her siblings, her children,and her husband once more… i will share the passing from one lifetime to the next.

Car searching sucks, and so does getting old!

Searching for cars SUCKS! My sebring is on its way out the door, and let me tell you! I thought finding a new car would be fun and easy, but its nothing but a chore! The ones I like are either out in Burnsville, or Waconia… I mean….where the heck is Waconia? I really would like to get a white Dodge Caliber, unless its loaded with everything I want. (Like the one in Waconia is…)

Next weekend Jason and I are going to go out and look, and hopefully buy one!
Went and visted Gran in the hospital today. She looks like she dropped about 10 pounds or so, and is having a hard time breathing .She just wanted to sleep when I was there so our visit was rather short. What I wanted to do was climb into bed with her and give her a big hug, and hold her and let her know I was there…. but she had too many visitors at the time.
Kirra was a real trooper! I brought Kirra with since Jason’s working. On our way out to visit Gran I stopped by Babies R Us and got Kirra a portable potty seat. Almost right when we got to Gran’s room Kirra had to go potty, and she did! This thing ROCKS!
Because we were at the hospital right after I got off work we didn’t get to eat dinner until much later… like nearly 8pm later! We stopped at McDonalds which we rarely do and got hamburgers and chocolate shakes. Kirra even got her very own chocolate shake which she thought was pretty darn cool!
Sat out on my patio with a bottle of Riesling. Janis my neighbor was nice enough to stop by for a drink and a chat. I really love them like a second set of parents!

I’m really really praying that the doc’s will spring Gran and that she can go and live with my mom and dad, so I can visit her as much as possible! I feel sooo guilty for not visiting her more. I keep saying i’m not ready for her to go, but I think that’s because I don’t feel like i’ve spent as much time with her as I could have been. I had all of these reasons, some valid, and some plain silly,but now all I keep thinking is that I just need more time….

My Poor Baby!

My poor baby Kirra got sick today! I got all the way into work and then BAM – Tally called, she had been puking, and had diarrhea pretty bad, so I had to go back and get her. Poor thing!

I got a lot done today though, including cleaning out my car (because i’m going to be getting a new one in a few weeks!!!) cleaning out the pool, and cleaning up the house! Its so nice to have a spectacularly clean house!

Kirra took a 5 hour nap so she was definitely ill today! Poor thing! I took advantage and cleaned, and still got in a 2 hour nap myself! Woo Hoo! We just got back from Target and will now be eating dinner.

Need Prayers

Talked to my brother today, and he said, “Did you hear about Grandma”, and I instantly held my breath… “no” I proceeded…. well… I guess… my parents went and got her from her house, and she is living at my parents, because she is short of breath, and having very labored breathing. I guess she’s been going downhill the past week or so, but it peaked today.

My mom is going to bring her to the doctor tomorrow at 2pm. Hopefully she can go back to my parents. That’s what i’m praying for. The doctor however mentioned to my mom she could be having heart failure, which I guess isn’t totally surprising given her age.

I know she’s 94 years old. I’ve known her for the past 30 years, and my daughter has gotten to know her as well. For me personally, i’m not ready to say goodbye if this is it. I keep going thru my head right now thinking – I should have visited more, – i should have called more… but it is what it is right now, and I just need to visit her as much as possible now before its too late.

If its Gods will to take her, I surrender her to him. He knows best, and has a divine plan for her i’m sure. But if its not yet her time, I pray that he can do everything in his power to make her well again.

I had a FT job meeting tonight ( I feel like i’ve been working ALL THE TIME!) and Kirra went to Alisa’s house to go swimming with Aiden. (Photos are on shutterfly). It looks like they had a total blast! I think I should retire to bed now. I’m just tired…

Happy 4th of July!

So I woke up this morning at 3am to get ready for the half marathon and had to be down in Minneapolis at 4am. Got the course set up, and back to my vehicle to get ready for the start of the race. It started to rain so hard it looked like a monsoon!

Finished up and loaded MORE water into the truck again! These boxes have 4 gallon jugs of water, so they’re each 32 pounds, and we had 120 boxes to move. Thats over 3,200 pounds I moved!!! So my arms are JUST about dead.

Got home all sweaty and made a taco dip and then we headed off to Uncle Joes to go swimming and water-skiing. It was so much fun. I took off – off the dock,and then dropped a ski and LOVED IT! Kirra even jumped off into the middle of the lake, but wasn’t really digging the deep lake swimming!

After a wonderful pot-luck dinner we went over to Frank and Theo’s to watch a few back-yard fireworks and see everyone. All in all it was a great 4th. I’ve got to work tomorrow though so I should head to bed right now!

Hot Hot Hot!

Today is HOT HOT HOT!!! Woke up about 9am, and got so much done! Got my oil changed.. antifreeze in my car, and fixed my air conditioning. Then Jason, Kirra and I went to Target for a few groceries and new fans.

This afternoon I went down to the Start/Finish area of the half marathon to help set up. I got the mile markers ready, and helped load up the Aid Station trucks. Tonight I have to go pick up Heidi’s Durango, because she is THE BEST and letting me borrow it for one of the official race vehicles.

Tonight we’re grilling pork chops on the grill and getting caught up with some of me and Jason’s favorite shows. I have to go to bed super early because tomorrow morning I’ll be up at 3:00am to be on the course by 4AM setting up the mile markers, marking direction arrows,  and making sure everything is in place!

God gave me you!

Its been so hard with Jason working so much lately! Thursday I was having an awful day. Work was insanely busy, then I thought I had an awful virus, and at the end of it all, I ended up hitting a concrete pole with Jason’s truck and gave it a boo-boo. I called Jason crying on a voicemail, and when he came home with him, he had a bottle of wine, and a frappuccino maker for being a great mom! This song reminds me so much that Jason is so awesome. I’m so lucky to have him in my life!