Tonight after I laid Kirra down to sleep… I went out on the patio with my bottle of cupcake wine. I was sitting on the patio looking at a brightly light moon, and then saw the purple flowers…Gran’s favorite color, and then I just lost it. I called my mom,and we cried together. I told her I understood that it was her time and that she is perfectly at peace in heaven. I know this… but I want her back…. I want THEM back… both of my grandparents…. all of my grandparents… This is strangely difficult. Am I over reacting? This loss i feel is too real to be over-reacting… Was it because I was close to her? Because she was my last living grandparent? Or because she was a true kindred spirit…. no…. she was everything and more. I miss you so much Gran. I just want you back…. I just want you back!