Tag Archives: trust

Sing Oceans

I’ve heard from several people recently that they do not like singing the song Oceans – by Hillsong.  Up until very recently could hardly sing it anymore without bursting into tears. It is a song, made up of lyrically powerful stuff! And I get it. I get why they don’t want to sing Oceans, or why people even suggest that you don’t sing Oceans – but I say sing it, mean it, live it.

If you’re not familiar with the song, or are just joining my blog for the first time, here are the lyrics.

You call me out upon the waters
The great unknown where feet may fail
And there I find You in the mystery
In oceans deep
My faith will standAnd I will call upon Your name
And keep my eyes above the waves
When oceans rise
My soul will rest in Your embrace
For I am Yours and You are mineYour grace abounds in deepest waters
Your sovereign hand
Will be my guide
Where feet may fail and fear surrounds me
You’ve never failed and You won’t start now

So I will call upon Your name
And keep my eyes above the waves
When oceans rise
My soul will rest in Your embrace
For I am Yours and You are mine[3x]

Spirit lead me where my trust is without borders
Let me walk upon the waters
Wherever You would call me
Take me deeper than my feet could ever wander
And my faith will be made stronger
In the presence of my Savior

I will call upon Your name
Keep my eyes above the waves
My soul will rest in Your embrace
I am Yours and You are mine.

To me this song is a pure and powerful prayer that does not hold back. It is an invitation of the Holy Spirit to the soul, but one should not be afraid of the lyrics. Its not saying, Lord I will do all of these things if you bring hardship into my life, or please Lord bring hard things into my life so that I can have a deeper understanding of you. No… I don’t believe that’s what this song is saying at all…

There will come a time in your life when the proverbial shit, hits the proverbial fan. We live in a broken world that is not fair, or just, but God is. If i’ve learned anything in my life I’ve learned that none of us are promised an easy life – but we can choose how we overcome these hard times. If you haven’t experienced hardship yet it will happen… but you don’t have to do it alone.

Let your faith run deep, wild and free – because as I was saying this prayer over the past two years it built up in me a strength I honestly do not believe I would have had if i hadn’t prayed these lyrics. I don’t think by singing this song constantly over the past few years the song invited my dad to choke to death. That was due to a series of terrible fateful things lining up with terrible timing and circumstances. I don’t believe it was the Holy Sprit saying, Okay Lindsey – you’ve prayed the prayer here you go, here’s your hardship so that your faith can grow deeper,  but rather Lindsey – this is the situation. I’m sorry, but its time to get out of the boat. You’re going to have to trust me that I will catch you.

Whether you sing this song or not, there will come a point in your life where things are going to be hard. That is life on this side of heaven. Maybe it’s deciding if you have the financial means to be a stay at home mom, or if you should choose a college that is close to home, or across the country, maybe you’re facing a tough time at work, trying to raise half a million dollars for a church, or several thousand for a mission trip or facing a sickness, or a sudden death.  Whatever water you face which is unique for us all, there is a savior that says to all of us, “Do not be afraid, I am with you.”. (Isaiah 41:10)

There is a game my daughter learned this summer that many of us adults know, and its the trust fall game. Where you and a partner stand next to each other, and the first person closes their eyes, stretches out their hands, and falls back towards the ground and your partner catches you. Oceans is just like that. Its saying, you know what. I will trust you so deep Lord that I will let go and when I fall I know that you will be right there to catch me.

To me this song is all about preparing your heart and soul now in a deep relationship with Christ so that when we face hard times we know without a fraction of a doubt that Jesus is with us. This song is all about building a relationship with Jesus about inviting us to trust God deeply, not invite hard times in our life. That will happen all on its own. I don’t know about you, but when I am in the boat of life and the waves start to grow bigger I thank God with all of my might that Jesus will be there with me. I do not think it was an accident that I was singing this song with all of my might the moment I got the call about my dad. It was God who knows all things, knew I needed to be reminded of these lyrics one last time before I heard the news.

So sing Oceans. Don’t be afraid and sit on the side lines of faith. Nothing great comes from sitting on the sidelines. Peyton Manning did not beat Bret Favre’s career passing touchdown record by sitting on the sidelines, Wayne Gretzky, and Michael Jordan did not get where they did by sitting on the sidelines. Martin Luther King Jr, and Rosa Parks did not change history by sitting on the sidelines, and I am not just “handling my dad’s death” by sitting on the sidelines. I am living each day the lyrics of Oceans. Each day is not easy, but each day i know that when I call upon His name, God is rushing to me, embracing me with his kindness, and grace.

I will keep singing Oceans and asking God to continue to lead me where my trust has no borders. I refuse to put God in a box, but will let him touch all areas of my life and beg him to take me deeper in faith then my feet could ever wander on their own… so when I have a hard day – or something else strikes I will be ready.

Invite the Holy Spirit to do great things in you. Sing Oceans. Sing it loudly in your car, sing it quietly before bed, and let your faith run wild and free in the deep waters.

I know I have linked to this song before, but this is my most favorite version of the song.

Here’s My Heart Lord

I stated early in this process that my cousin said to me, “Lindsey… these are the times that your faith either grows unimaginably stronger, or you loose it all together”. She was so right. I suppose you could continue on in your faith as usual, but I am a person of deep feeling, and emotion. Maybe its because of that genetic makeup of my being, or because I have been inviting the Holy Spirit into my life in such a deep and powerful way, but the blinders have been lifted off my eyes.

Of course I’ve always always believed in Christ as my savior, but now its not just believing, its seeing, and feeling.

When everything else is taken away from me, I am reminded that God is more than enough, He’s all I have, He’s everything.

He’s the life link between me and my dad, who I know is standing beside him. I can’t imagine if my dad was not a follower of Christ – and I would be unsure if he is in heaven, but I know with all of my being that he is.

In all of this – my heart has been so fully surrendered to God. I trust so deep to my core that he is sovereign in all things. How couldn’t I?

One area in my life I have been shoving down more privately however is the subject of my birthday – a birthday whom I share[d] with my dad. Even when I was in the Navy I shared my birthday with our physician/LT so I’ve never really really had my birthday be my own… Anytime I allow my self to think about it too much I feel a full blown panic attack approaching. My mom, bless her, asked what I wanted for my birthday dinner and cake since it would be all up to me now…

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Frankly I guess I don’t want to think about it. I don’t want to pick a cake by myself or a meal for dinner. Initially I think that maybe I just don’t want my birthday at all anymore, I don’t care. The thought of it is inconceivable to me… but a thought crossed my mind – that maybe picking my own cake, or my own birthday dinner feels like I’m taking advantage of the situation. My dad and I are supposed to battle it out. I don’t want swiss and cranberry pork tenderloin and he doesn’t want chipped beef… I want 7 up Bunt Cake, and he wants Keys House Cake. Of course I have the options to myself now… but I don’t want to. It feels all so wrong, and stings.

Its also a blinding reminder that it is true that my dad is gone, and maybe that’s the hardest part, or maybe a combination of the three.

Several years ago my prayer for my life were the lyrics of the song Oceans. Oh how I prayed for those lyrics to come true. God has faithfully lead me to this place of deep wonderment. Of course it was NOT the way I supposed it would happen, but nonetheless I am here trusting God without boarders.

I heard this song during worship a few weeks back and have been listening to it nearly every day since. It is my new prayer.

Father I am ready and here upon the waters as you’ve called me – the great unknown where feet may fail. And there I find You in the mystery In oceans deep My faith will stand.
And I will call upon Your name And keep my eyes above the waves When oceans rise My soul will rest in Your embrace For I AM Yours and You ARE mine.

Father I have felt your beautiful presence in my life so strongly these past four months that I see you Lord. You have shown me your mercy, and love, and holiness in a way I never would have seen otherwise. Though my feet feel like they are FAILING ME whenever I think about my birthday – the moment in time when you created me, created my father, and joined us together with You – I know that you will be with me through this. Though this marks strongly reality for me that my father is with you Father let me be in prayer that I am comforted by you and your grace once more.

I’m here Lord. I’m in the waters, and they are a scary place to be. I feel myself sinking, but then I see that you are with me. While I am here Lord – speak what you need to, and want to. The blinders are off, my ears are listening and tear filled eyes are pointed and focused towards you. Through this season I am found, I am Yours I am loved, I’m made pure. I have life, I can breathe I am healed, I am free. You are strong, You are sure, You are life, You endure. You are good, always true You are light breaking through. You are more than enough, You are here, You are love. You are hope, You are grace YOU’RE ALL I HAVE, YOU’RE EVERYTHING!

– Here’s my heart Lord – Here’s my life Lord – Speak what is true.